I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
