its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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