bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
