This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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