I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I know her cup size but not her name....
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
