I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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