Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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