I'm lost and stupid without you.
Life is so much better after having sex.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
