Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
