I love black thongs
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i just google imaged poop.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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