My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
this will be a night to untag.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
