I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
im about as happy as oj after his trial
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
