He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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