whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
