and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
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I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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