So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Two words: blizzard sex
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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