That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
