i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
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You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
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I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i believe in u and ur pee
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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