More tranny stories later!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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