she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
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