Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
