I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
