I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize