i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
