did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
