plz talk dirty to me
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
