I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
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Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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