Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
