she woke up with a sticky ear
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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