I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
