She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
