...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I wear drunk well.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
