Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
