you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
