she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
