Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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