a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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