There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
