On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I party with great urgency now.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
