I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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