so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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