I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
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I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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