belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
