i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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