how can u be prego again
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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