I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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