You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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