I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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