the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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