Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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