I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
