i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
