i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
