Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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