so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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