He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
