so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
