I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
