i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
