in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
